BEHIND THE SONGS
“A Place Prepared”
WHEN THE DUSTY PURPLES CHASE THE SETTING SUN
This picture stuck with me and was the starting point of this song. I have long had a bittersweet feeling about dusk. As a child, I would often be outside playing as it descended upon the day, and I have many memories of my play being put on pause by its arrival. There would be a moment where I’d catch up with the reality that the brighter daylight had given way to a golden glow. The blue of the sky had given up territory to oncoming purples and deep pinks. A few stars made themselves known, and on the nights when the moon would be out, its brightness had a special contrast to the deepening hues of the twilight.
I FEEL THE HEAVINESS OF THIS TEMPORAL HOME.
It’s that feeling of being here, but here not being satisfying. It’s the challenge of longing for things we can’t fully comprehend. It’s a feeling of impatience.
As I sat with these feelings, this song came seamlessly. It probably was one of the quicker songs I’ve written, I believe in part because so much of the imagery has been captured in my head since childhood.
This song became the third song I sang in front of a group of people, at a creative arts night my church hosted. I had begun to play my first few songs in private with close friends, but sharing it to over 100 people at once was initially daunting. I am no stranger to playing music in front of people, but sharing lyrics that were deeply personal was uncharted territory.
AND I LONG,
OH I LONG.
I realized that many of the themes I was writing about, things that felt heavy and prominent and even isolating, were things that other saints were wrestling with. Scripture says that God has placed eternity in our hearts. I think our hearts feel it more potently when we watch the daylight fade away. But for the Christian, we stand in the hope that a place is prepared for us, one that does not leave us melancholy but where the night will be no more.
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”
- John 14:1-3
I have a clear mental image of seeing the sky covered in low-hanging clouds. It was winter of 2023, and in Ohio, we are used to overcast days for long stretches of time. Right on the edge of dusk, the sky was getting a deeper shade of gray, but because the sun was setting, its final rays hit the underside of the blanket of clouds. The gold shone against the purple-gray backdrop and looked absolutely brilliant. For a fleeting moment, the gold looked like it could be a glimpse of heaven’s streets.
AND A STILLNESS SETTLES IN IT’S WAKE.
I love being outside during the day. I also love nighttime. But the in between makes me melancholy. As a child, I felt that tension without understanding it. Now, I still feel it but have gained a depth of awareness for what it means. And it led me to begin this song as I put to words the feeling I’ve always had when I’m outside at dusk.
This song was probably the fourth or fifth song I wrote. I wish I had kept better track of the timeline. But I know it was somewhere in the early stages, though I had been writing enough to recognize the reoccurring themes I was processing with this practice. This tension was one of them.
SO OFTEN IT’S MORE THAN I CAN TAKE.
Something pivotal happened after sharing this song, which I’ve come to view as a significant trail marker in the progression of this album. I first noticed I was completely at ease in playing my songs for a crowd, most who knew me to some degree but were not aware of the circumstances that had been propelling me to write music.
The peace I had felt like a confirmation from God that I ought to continue in playing my music. And I also was surprised by the response from people, finding out I am not alone in the melancholiness felt at dusk.
HOW I LONG FOR THE PLACE WITH THE STREETS GOLD PAVED.
