BEHIND THE SONGS
“This Remains”
CLOUDS SURROUND WITH CLEAR PREDICTION.
The gas station was in a bit of a flat valley, and from where I was standing, I had a near 360 view of the sky’s edge. Above was clear sky, and all around the perimeter were dark storm clouds.
Their imposing presence gave me the first four lines of this song, which I typed out on my notes app as soon as I holstered the gas pump and reentered my car. I went on to enjoy the day, our drive taking us out of the range of the oncoming storms.
TO FEED THE GROUND AND GROW THE GREEN
After that, the chorus wrote itself and fit right into the verses. I paired it with a rolling picking pattern, with the minor chords and rhythm feeling like the perfect match to the emotional tones of the words.
I knew the song wasn’t just about weather. In the two or three weeks leading up to the moments of inspiration, I had been having particularly haunting dreams and restless nights. I’ve never slept especially soundly due to chronic pain, but for some reason there was a stretch of a few days where the nighttime battle felt deeper than physical discomfort.
HOLD MY BREATH, ‘TIL COLORS SPLAY ACROSS THE GRAYING SKIES.
The nightmares didn’t last long, but when one storm rolls out, another is often quick to follow. Over the next few months, I continued to sit with the song, tinkering and tweaking it. With every new proverbial storm, I found new dimension to the song and the truths I was dwelling on during my writing.
After the refining process of songwriting, I landed on what came to be the most important creative choice for the song: how to end it. The minor notes and tones were truly reflective of that span of time and the lyrics I wrote. But it seemed like a poorly applied lesson if I kept the darkened tone all the way to the last note. So I chose to end the song on a major chord, creating a moment of brightness and hope that hopefully catches the listener by delighted surprise.
NOR WILL I, FOR THIS REMAINS: HE’S THE GOOD OF BOTH MY SUNSHINE AND MY RAIN.
There’s few things in nature I love more than clouds. Living near the shores of Lake Erie, we get some particularly stunning sunsets which paint the clouds in an ethereal palette. We also get some tremendously gorgeous storm clouds.
In what would be one of my more surprising locations for inspiration, I was staring at those storm clouds as I was pumping gas at a BP station. Preparing to go on an annual autumn drive with my mom and sister-in-law, the weather was threatening to dampen the day’s activities.
POURING RAIN, I SOON WILL LISTEN.
I had another moment of inspiration with clouds shortly after as I stood yet again next to my parked car. In the lot of a Michael’s, gray clouds stretched overhead, warning of a downpour. But this time the gray gave way to color as a glorious rainbow reached across the sky.
I quickly took a picture to send to my mom, though I know it never does it justice. But something about the scene felt important to capture. And again, lyrics came to mind:
“Hold my breath, ‘til colors splay across the graying sky.”
BUT FIRST THE THUNDER AND THE STRIKES OF LIGHTNING.
Now far removed from that point, I’ve recognized that window of time as being overshadowed by spiritual warfare. I think I had an inkling of it in the moment, but didn’t grasp the expanse of it until I could step back from that season.
At the time, I just knew I was having especially chilling nightmares. And they were exhausting me in more ways than one. So as I took the few lines of lyrics I had, I wove in the fresh experiences of the spiritual storms that were raining down on my life.
PROMISE KEPT, WON’T BE CAST ASIDE BY ALL MY QUESTIONING CRIES.
That one creative choice captured a host of thoughts I had during the entire song’s lifetime. My life had felt overshadowed by storm clouds for a period of time. They felt insurmountable and in a very tangible way, I felt surrounded by gray thunderheads. But the rainbow of God’s promised faithfulness continually broke through. And only against the backdrop of the dark skies could I finally see its colorful beauty. When the clouds break and the light pours in, we are again reminded of God’s promises.
Therefore, “I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”
- Psalm 16:7-8
